Fortissimo

I cannot believe I haven't blogged about the Raishin yet. It's like one of the few accomplishments in my miserable life.

The Raishin is my signature move in the ever-increasingly complex sport (look if shooting random clay discs can be considered an Olympic sport, you shut your trap young man) of foozball (yeah I like to use Z instead of S).

The Raishin is simple. Combining the elements of power and surprise, the Raishin is an extremely hard midfielder shot. You know a Raishin from three things.

1) The table rattles (slightly or not slightly depending on the oiling of the bars, blah blah) when the midfielders are brought down. This is often accompanied by an audible krrng sound.
2) The ball, for a millisecond, seems to stretch into a light translucent orange comet. Then all too soon, it disappears.
3) Following 2), a ball-shrinking paang is heard as the ball slams into the goal.

The name Raishin is derived from 2) and 3). Raishin is simply Japanese for lei shen, 雷神, meaning Thunder God. The inclusion of the word god is also significantly symbolic, as the Raishin is designed for a left-hander wrist, which not many have, and consequently not many can do the Raishin. Even with left handers it requires practice to flick and of course target, bringing even further down the selected few who can accomplish the Raishin effectively. This author is only halfway through. But heck, this author invented the Raishin, so this author will take however much time he damn well pleases to train up on targetting.

The Raishin is most effective as an opening scorer, although there is no problem at all using it in play. Just wait for the ball to roll to a gap through the opposite midfielder and hit. Easier said than done. Also, the ball must roll onto your side of the field so that you can reach it in the first place.

Even though it has become a standard move for this author to flick his midders hard whenever the ball comes near (sometimes resulting in the most embarrassing backspins), it is advised to use the Raishin as a surprise attack. Sooner or later the enemy, if of any skill at all, will recognise a way to block your Raishin, and you do not want to acquaint him with the antidote too soon. Randomise your shots, or use the Raishin as a shocker if the opponents are getting the upper hand. That should give you a one or two goal advantage while they are recovering and on their toes. Another thing that can be done to keep the opponents on their toes - when the ball is successfully pumped up by the defender, or anytime the ball moves into your (the striker's) field, use 1), bringing the midders and strikers down hard, with a krrg sound, to give the psychological impression of an impenetrable lockdown.

In closing, do not be depressed or feel inferior at all if you find you cannot accomplish the Raishin. You are not stupid, nor slow. Always remember that.

You're just plain untalented.