Flagship blog of the Fortissimo Blog Group


Wong Renhao

Date of Birth:
28 August 1988

~Full time student
-St. Hilda's Primary
-Victoria School
-UB-SIM Ba. Comm.
~Part time software technician (Ba. ITech)
~Tenor-in-training, though it most probably won't work out
~CMI Grade 2 piano player
~Learning guitar

Friendster Public Profile

I'm in Ravenclaw!
be sorted @ nimbo.net

Email me!
Get your email icon here


[)1$(µ$$ 7#3 |\|37
Revelation of Grace
Journal of Influence


Chong Yi
CiPing & Wilbur
Denys & John
Jason Aw
Jon(athan) Sam(raj)
Lyrical Revelry
HRH Mano and her Blisters
Shu Yun
(Ying) Zhi


June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007


Note: I will post using the name Renhao. Any other variation of my name or moi is not me.


Happy Helium New Year
Dumb norwegian blond
the flying lawnmower
Piece of Mind - Vancouver Film School (VFS)
Punishment in a haunted house -gaki no tsukai-
The Last Knit
chlorine and alcohol
The Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno -- Phony Photo Booth
Imperial Orchestra
Male Restroom Etiquette
Crazy Frog vs. Call On Me
Der Fuehrer's Face
School Rumble Clip
The Mind Of Mencia
Kotaro Oshio - Super Mario
Best card trick in the world
Whose Line Is It Anyway 26
Kotaro Oshio - Fight!!
Best of Peter
Another Funny Japanese Prank Show
Silent Library 3
Japanese Toilet Prank
Japanese Mission Impossible: Ski Resort spa prank
Family Guy Wheel of Fortune
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Miss Swan at a gay bar
Miss Swan (900)HOT-SWAN
Another David Copperfield
[Bakafish] Hard Gay Ramen English Subtitles
[Bakafish] Hard Gay Father's Day English Subtitles
Crazy Asian Mother by Erick Liang
English Conversation.
Teletubbies Uncensored
South Park Blame Canada
Jay Leno's Photobooth Prank 2
Jay Leno's Photobooth Prank 1
Steve Vai - Tender Surrender
Tatiana and Maxim Ice Skating
MJ's Choco Factory
Japanese Girls Freak Out
Funny Wake Ups
Boy Gets Scared
No More Wanking
Jesus Dancing Weird
Little Diva

Excited Pokemon Kid from Youtube.com

Der Fuehrer's Face
Saturday, September 30, 2006

I got this off my friend Bertrand's blog (accessible in the left hand column of links). Try to use your History/World Civ skills to spot the freaking obvious (no, really, it is) propaganda inserts. Other than that, enjoy. My favourite part?

Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler!Heil Hitler...Heil Hitler...Herr herrler...

orchestrated by Renhao at 8:20:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Ooze the Fooz
Friday, September 29, 2006

I had two foozballing sessions today.

It really depends on my mood, see.

My NTR was HORRIBLE. And consequently Ben and Elton were pruned dry by my Raishin. It also really helped that William was my partner. Excellent defense + fearsome Ikorose.

Later, after lunch I was in a considerably happier mood. And consequently Ben pruned me dry with his Heavenly Dance.


orchestrated by Renhao at 10:50:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Gone with the Wind
Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Quite some time ago, one of my closest friends wrote on his blog, that if he didn't blog about this now, he knew he never would.

I find myself in that same position today. Two extremely worrying exams are glaring at me in the face, yet like my friend, I will sooner than I hope forget all I'm about to say. Already, I'm losing my thoughts.

Some time ago, I blogged on my friendship expectations, admitting that I have really high expectations regarding my close friends, and that if I am willing to walk from Tampines to Tanjong Pagar for them, they should have no problem doing that for me as well.

There. See. I lost my main thought. Hurrah.

Ok I'm hoping it'll come along again as I ramble.

Shit. I totally lost it.

Ok. Sorry. Bye.

orchestrated by Renhao at 8:29:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I'm burping sesame oil air.

Shit. Shit shit shit.

orchestrated by Renhao at 8:00:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

School Rumble Video Clip

The funniest anime I've seen so far, here's a clip from episode 12 of season 1 demonstrating the general brain power of the characters. The whole season 1 can be accessed on Youtube, with a simple search. Episodes 1 and 2 are in three parts, which I usually detest, but from episode 3 onwards, look out for the user called celest1 who uploaded the episodes before the new 10min rule kicked in - almost the whole season in single 23+min episodes.


orchestrated by Renhao at 7:06:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.


Apart from my usual self-tripping, which Hans and Graham take much delight in, I do have other klutzy moments. Let me unabashedly tell you about my latest one.

I came back from church today to find a choice of cooking instant noodles, or porridge. This porridge was nothing more than ikan bilis and rice, but that was a good enough base. I decided on porridge.

First up, dumped in a whole lot of Japanese Chilli Powder. My mom bought a bottle back from Japan, and I've been dumping it into anything that I've been cooking over the fire recently.

Then, the new bottle of Borvil that my dad bought (never tasted the same after they stopped it during the Mad Cow Disease). It's more flavourful than Marmite, which is just... a whole lot of brown salt. Brown liquid salt.

At this point my dad, as predicted, wanted to taste the Borvil in action. When I enquired about the chilli powder, if he could taste it, he said 'Yes. But not nice, spoil the taste.' 'Is that so?' I said.

I promptly added another generous sprinkle, eliciting an unembarrassed WAH from my father.

Now here comes the klutz. I started the fire and put the pot over the stove, then popped open the bottle of sesame oil.

See where this is going? Oh yes it is...

I was using an old milk-stirrer (a longer teaspoon with smaller scoop) and I those two spoonfuls of that measure of sesame oil was sufficient. It was.

Then, while trying the tip the remaining oil that had flowed into the hanging cap, I poured ten more teaspoons of sesame oil out onto my porridge.

I let out a strangled cry, of which one of the words was most definitely kersou, and immediately set the cursed bottle down. I didn't know what to do for awhile, but then it occured to me to tip the pot slightly so that the excess oil would just drip off. I didn't remove as much as I had hoped, because I would have risked further klutzing by tipping half the porridge into the sink. So with a brown layer of oil all over my porridge, I lit the fire and started stirring.

Hell it tasted good.

Really good.

orchestrated by Renhao at 6:35:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Ha, War
Saturday, September 23, 2006

This poem was the only decent one I wrote during NTR. I wrote another one about foozball, and another about a nightmare school, but the nightmare school one was going off track into a gory Battle Royale flick, and the foozball one I freestyled left right centre.

My first thought was that this belonged on The Falling Worm, but since this is my flagship blog (maciam got 10 different blogs liddat) I'll post it here too.


Ha, War

Dulce et decorum est,
pro patria mori.

Impressive Latin phrases be,
Proclaiming sacrificial glory.

Has our homeland sheltered us?
You deny it hasn't?
Had it not progressed thus so,
Wouldn't we still be peasants?

Feel the fire in thy heart,
Hear the proud flame blazing!
Will you run through the wilderness,
Bombs and grenades falling?

Glory, honour, bleed with pride,
Think you're in a game?
Once you're injured, when you're dead,
No med-pack to claim.

Never had to shoot someone,
Never seen the gory.
Dulce et decorum est,
Pro patria mori?

(C) 2006 Wong Renhao


Okay, so the med-pack thing was lame.

And the peasants too.


I wanted some rhyme damn it!

orchestrated by Renhao at 10:50:00 am
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Renhao, Bad-Day Magnet
Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Yes. It seems I am a bad day magnet. Today was cocked up. I had a bloody thunderstorm cloud over my head all the way from school to Tampines. It didn't help at all I was standing. ALL THE WAY.

In rememberance of this day, I have decided to put my Photoshop skills to the test, by creating a Magic Card for myself, a Rare card from the Unhinged block to be precise. I have not let myself down. Ladies and gentlemens.......

Renhao, Bad-Day Magnet

orchestrated by Renhao at 5:17:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Is a Beautiful Daaaayyy...
Monday, September 18, 2006

Allow me to introduce you to the epitome of political incorrectness: Carlos Mencia. Courtesy of Hans, this here is one of his finer moments as an Yindian 7-11 store owner. Video quality's abit blurry though, sorry. Every clip was just about the same.

As compared to my suckfest of a weekend, today was great. It wasn't wild, not like playing LAN or pubbing or anything, but it was quietly pleasant.

Didn't start off too well though. Shouldn't, really, with a Sociology test looming ahead like a spaceship which looks small at first, then it comes toward you and just when you realise the magnitude of it's size, you also happen to realise it's only heading your way because it's bloody out of fuel and going to crash in your face.

Everyone was tensely studying (most, anyway), trying to joke to lighten the atmosphere, if not for everyone's tightly-knotted stomach then at least for your own.

It ain't full marks, but it wasn't that bad as well.

Of course, that's what I said after the first test.

After we'd finished, I came out first, followed shortly by Hans, then Ben, who looked shellshocked but claimed it was fine. We strolled to the lounge, and as we put our bags down and started flexing our fingers for either pool or foozball (more or less the same muscles/bones) Ryan came in, then Elton. So we inevitably got drawn to the foozball table. First game with Elton at the back. When the ball came rolling in, I without a second thought flicked my left wrist and executed a textbook Raishin (it's just not the same without a streaking orange blur... :'( ). For a fleeting moment I enjoyed Ben's 0.0 face before he protested and said 'Ey no midfielder shots!'

'Never mind never mind, keep that point.'

After awhile the rule was reduced to no opening shots. I wouldn't have had much of a problem with that if it were still the orange balls (although it took alot my mental capacity to resist lettin' it rip when the ball came rolling into play), the new balls were so slippery it went past us before we knew what was happening, so it was an extra challenge to even position the ball for a mid-game Raishin, and the opposite team (just Ben and Ryan today) would always be on hysterical alert when I got the ball anyway, so that made it double hard.

Alot of defender/keeper screw ups eventually earned Elton and I a win. The second game, we kept our side but switched positions. And just as I was prepping myself to handle the first incoming ball, Ben followed up in the midfield and the ball walked right past my keeper's blind spot.

It was really great though because I could do Ten no Raishin (or is it Raishin no Ten... Raishin of the Heavens la however you put it in Jap) without worrying about rules, since keeper-smashing was allowed. Won again. The third game, we switched sides, and after a lovely Ten no Raishin (sounds better than Raishin no Ten anyway) on the first ball, I switched places with Elton, only to have him freak when the ball came his way because he could see nuts. After two goals for Ryan and Ben I pushed him to the midfielder's.

And he freaked when the ball came his way because he could see nuts.


Elton and Ben left after that, so I played elimination with Hans and Ryan. Bloody hell, I always get pwned big time on my own coins. And that dick Ryan tyco-ed his way to winning the game.

It was only 2.30 when we ended the game, and we wondered where to go since Ryan had until 430 before his guitar lesson. So we decided to go hang out at Raffles City. I took him to Gloria Jean's at the basement of Raffles to try to coffee.

Apparently Ryan's idea of a coffee is a Cappuccino Chiller, which tasted totally dubious. Like chendol, was my first reaction.

I opted for a Caffe Mocha, and made the mistake of majorly overkilling by dumping extra Hershey's Chocolate Sauce all over it. I'm still a little dizzy/nauseous from it.

There's just no word to accurately describe jelak. Now bow to Malay powar.

Kiddin'. Don't. :P

We went to MPH just up front from Gloria Jean's after we were finished and Ryan rang up some guy he was arranging to get Magic cards from so that he could arrange pick-up conveniently since I was around (that guy lived in the East). I'm totally used and abused by my friends. That guy must have thought Ryan was a sucker because he just kept on and kept on offering more cards to Ryan through me (I was on the phone with him to discuss pick-up) and the same idiot who admonished me to watch my finances with more care nodded absentmindedly to almost every offer and impressively doubled the original amount of money to be paid for his cards. Luckily for Ryan this guy was buying the two cards he wanted to sell, and Ryan only had to top up $1.50.

This means I'll be conducting two card transactions this Wednesday. VvV...

As I was on the train, I tried to catch some sleep, but I couldn't help noticing that a happy, satisfied, glow in my tummy kept me awake. Awake, and smiling contentedly.


orchestrated by Renhao at 5:04:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Yesterday my father noticed the Comm Theory textbook that I had just bought. And after staring at it for awhile, he revealed that he actually teaches this subject as well!


He went out of my room for awhile and came back with the assigned textbook for the course - apparently the school chooses, not the lecturer.

'Stupid book, I don't like it... see. Whenever you see this kind of paper and this kind of green words (the words were printed in camo-green) it must be a stupid Australian book, it always is.'

What the hell has that got to do with anything??

I decided, and rightly so, that one could more or less determine the quality of the book from its definition of communication, as most of these drier texts are bound to contain within its first 10 pages.

Communication is any behaviour, verbal or nonverbal, that is perceived by another. Knowledge, feelings or thoughts are encoded and sent from at least one person and received and decoded by at least one other. Meaning is given to this message as the receiver interprets the message.

It's horrible isn't it?

'Next time,' my Dad said, 'you can teach these sort of courses part-time la.'

'You learnt Comm Theory in MBA?'


'Huh? Then how you teach?'

'Aiyah you think we know all the modules we teach meh? Just skim through the textbook, go there and bullshit your way through. Besides, you think I'm going to go through every single page meh? I'll jump here and there one lah.'

And his students actually adore him you know? He got a standing ovation when he received his PhD...

Way to go Dad. I just might follow in your footsteps after all.

orchestrated by Renhao at 7:40:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Strange Day
Thursday, September 14, 2006

So I was at the doctor's today, seeing him just to get myself more cream and tablets for my eczema. And this doctor is quite a strange man.

[knock door, open]
RH: Hello
Dr: Mmhmm hello Renhao... hi hmmhmmhmm haven't seen you for hmm ooh quite sometime hmm hmmhmmhmm been about hmm few hmm months hmmhmmhmmhmm...

That's what spending 6 years memorizing every single scientific name for every part of the body does to you I guess.

Before that though. I had just got my queue number when, seeing that the inside seats were all taken, I opted to wait outside where there were seats too. I intended to give my ears a rest from my music while lounging back and reading The Devil Wears Prada.

As soon as I took my Zen out to turn it off, the music piping through my tortured ears suddenly stopped, and the moment I looked at the screen, the shutdown sequence was initiated, and the LOW BATTERY sign flashed.

Nice timing~

Then after that, I was paying for my medicine when I heard the sound of bells ringing, realising it was coming from the doctor's room. If not for the fact that I saw an anxious mother breeze by with an excruciatingly cute baby boy moments earlier (the doctor was probably about to shoot a .1mm needle into the poor boy's arse) I would have thought that the doctor doubled up as a medium as well.

When my medicine came as four tubs of cream, two tubs night and two morning, I asked if the doctor would allow another set (1 morning 1 night). After the lady had noted my request on a tab and slotted my record booklet in for the doc to decide, she returned quite sometime later with another four tubs of cream.

Well, the more the merrier. $220 whee. 'So how much can you claim?' my father asked my mom as he passed her the receipt for her to claim some cash under DBS's employee medical scheme, where she works.

Ten dollars, she replied.

They're a generous bunch. C'mon, admit it.

orchestrated by Renhao at 8:18:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Lovely Night

Right. So I was pissed yesterday right? But after I posted I had a fun night discussing Magic with Ryan on MSN Voice, even though he was supposed to be studying Econs and I was supposed to be reading Sociology. Worth telling about some fun.

In between morning and afternoon lessons yesterday, Hans and Graham listened to the Super Mario Brothers Rap on my Zen and I took Hans' Neeon and scrolled away. When I got to Kings of Carnival Creation by Dimmu Borgir I froze at the virtuousity of the drumming with a half smile on my face which would have effectively sealed my reputation as closet retard had any stranger walked in then. And then I was so estatic I started clapping like a seal and Hans nearly fell over laughing. Didn't take too long before we were joking about seals clapping to black metal.

So back to at night, Ryan and I were discussing midnight phone calls, and that I 'shouldn't allow people to walk all over you like that!' he said. And as usual in a futile attempt to psych me up he roared 'Feel your masculinity surge up and rise within you!!!'

'Feel your masculinity surge up and rise within you... That sounds like an erection.'

There was silence for abit before Ryan giggled (giggle not in the hehehe way but... a silent laugh ok. I have my sources. It's known as a giggle) and pleaded 'Can we just move on..?'

:) I gladly obliged.

I like it when people cheer me up.

orchestrated by Renhao at 1:42:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Angry Day
Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Yes. I am blogging because today was crapassshitholescrewedupjumpdown bad.

Started nice enough, great lesson as usual with Dr Sachs, then long break where I zipped back to do some work for the StompAIDS thing. I actually wanted to finish reading Sociology Chapter 2 before class, but good thing it turned out to be mostly stuff we learnt in our COM lessons. Of course, I'll have to read again to get the sociological point of view.

I dreaded getting the Sociology paper back, and with good reason. Atrocious score of 57. But well I kinda made up my mind to let it pass and just work hard for the rest of the tests, so it wasn't too bad. Besides, not that I'm happy, but I did expect less than 57.

After I settled my paper admin, and found out that through his 'A'-level/GP/bullshitting/smoking skills he obtained a smashing 84, I went up to join Ryan Kaiyan Kaijie up at the computer lab where I did my traumatising Ministry of Sound crap less than a week before, and just slacked/stoned while they alternated between discussing Econs and watching silly videos about how to behave in a sushi bar. We went down to the lounge for a game of pool, where I intended to collect the notes for the creative brief, then go home and do.

I ended up missing the pool game and nearly missing taking the bus with Ryan.

When I got up to alight to change to another bus to go City Hall, I forgot about pressing the bell. When I did, the bus driver, who was already starting up the bus, took one furtive look at me and continued driving.

Well, he was an ass, but it didn't matter too much since these connecting services always run for a few bus stops. 65 and 154 share like 5 common bus stops. Maybe more.

I got up the next bus 77 in a slightly bad mood, and what the hell is wrong with bus drivers nowadays? People on crowded buses, or worse half-crowded buses find themselves stumbling into each other because the bus driver apparently thinks he's going manual on a Lambo or something. Bus 77, however was far from crowded, so the lucky few on board were treated to the spectacle of my weaving around helplessly like a drunk mad shellshocked man.

Slightly concerned about the how the road closures might have affected the bus route, I got up for a moment to examine the map detailing the temporary route changes, which as it turned out, didn't change for 77, not where I alighted. When I took the opportunity of the stationary bus at Dhoby Ghaut station to get back to my seat, the stupid driver floored the accelerator, and I sitting down halfway was flung backwards into my seat.

All bus drivers are bloody jerks. Now bow to my witty pun.

At one stop, there was this guy who got up, and, believe it or not, was less stable on his feet than I am, meaning he also weaved around for abit. After he'd thrown himself into a seat before the bus driver could fly him through the windscreen, he pressed the bell.

My mouth fell in outrage and in my mind I burst out uncontrollably 'You fucking IDIOT!!' What the... why... HE COULD HAVE WALKED! I know he could have because the moment he alighted, he briskwalked at an impressive speed to get to the traffic light before it was too late to cross the road.


I went to Raffles City (to be more precise) instead of going home where I could get some needed rest before I start on my books because I had to pick a Magic card up from this woman, who ripped me off spectacularly by saying she already got me a card which I requested she help me look for. LOOK FOR, not buy and sell to me. She however took it upon herself to purchase the card and sell me a card ranging from 50cents to a dollar at FOUR FUCKING FIFTY. $4.50!!!!!!!! And she says I have to buy it because I asked for it and she specially bought it for me and that no one else wanted to buy it.

And when I entered the shop today to collect the card and be done with the debt, as was my intention, she informed me after searching for sometime that she was sorry but she left it in her card album at Serene Center.

By then I was actually too tired to even show an angry look anymore.


orchestrated by Renhao at 6:56:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

The Ministry of Sound
Friday, September 08, 2006

Yesterday evening out of sheer exhaustion I went slightly mad and consequently traumatized Ben.

I was talking to Ryan about serving in the Sound Ministry when Ben asked what we were talking about. Or something like that anyway. And you know, it's not like I was pissed at him or anything, but it shows just how tired and brain dead I was when I suddenly snapped and said, 'About how I,' I said waving my hands in the air like a bogus magician (well, aren't they all anyway) 'will be serving in the Ministry, of Sound.' And then again for no reason I just went on to bob my head and go 'D-ts D-ts D-ts D-ts' like some techno music.

Took me several seconds to realize the damage I had inflicted upon my reputation as well as Ben's fragile emo mind, who tried to run into walls and glass doors among other things in a futile attempt to knock the image out of his head.

Sorry. Lol.

orchestrated by Renhao at 8:38:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Sociology and the Croc Hunter
Monday, September 04, 2006

Two sad events in a day. A fucked up Sociology test for which I didn't technically finish studying for, and which half the cohort found out/realized only this morning that it was worth 20%.

Strangely though, I found I could get through the short answer/short essay questions. Either it was alright~~, or I can smoke so well I do it unconsciously and think I got through the questions fairly easily.

Still, it didn't help that the YeapLee incarnate locked us all out of the LT till 1pm sharp, and told us imperiously and in a loud, slow voice to line up in a line quietly and orderly.

Essentially, treating us as primary school kids. Bitcharse.

I don't really think I want to let her spoil my experience of studying sociology. The textbook's been an interesting read so far, although I can't really absorb anything. I'm not letting her traumatize my sociological perspective.

And in other news, Steve Irwin died of all things by a stingray... sting. We all had mixed feelings when KY came in from reading the Yahoo news, announcing his death in a pale voice. We all bundled out the door to read for ourselves, and after we sat in grave silence for sometime...

RH: A stingray... hahaha
Ryan: So ironic...
KJ: ...haha..

And then a grave silence settled in again.

RH:...... Okay let's play pool.
KJ: Okay.
Ryan: Let's go.

Well then, RIP Steve Irwin.

I dunno which bright genius started it, but we all went out for dinner, and by the time we came back, my brother opened his MSN to find turtles, or (tu), all over his contact list. After his friend explained it was a tribute to Irwin we decided to put it too.

And suddenly all our subnicks turned into Irwin catchphrases.

"This'un's a reel beeuty"
"Look at that beauty"
"Crikey, woht a beeotay"

Well... then... RIP, Steve Irwin.

orchestrated by Renhao at 6:49:00 pm
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.

Witch Doctor
Sunday, September 03, 2006

It was probably freaking scary then, but there are a couple of parts in The Exorcist that made me snort and cover my face. Best one:

Doctor: ... [explaining exorcism] Yes, because it's in their mind that they have been taken over by an alien force, or personality, so it follows that that force can be removed from their mind if they are convinced so.
Mother: ... You're telling me I should bring my daughter to a witch doctor, is that it?

That was not in the book.

Video: While it's far from the best card trick in the world, it's still quite a smasher.

orchestrated by Renhao at 10:33:00 am
© 2004-2007. All rights reserved. You have been warned.